Why Not?
Years ago, there was a woman in my life who left a lasting impression on me. She died of cancer at just 37 years old.
There are many things I remember about her, but one stands out above all the rest.
Whenever someone talked about wanting to do something, try something, learn something, or experience something new, she would smile and say:
“Why not?!”
Not in a reckless way.
Not because she thought every idea was brilliant.
But because I think her approach to life was with curiosity instead of hesitation.
With possibility instead of fear.
With openness instead of self-imposed limitations.
I’ve thought about those two words a lot over the years.
Especially lately.
Because I’ve noticed something about many women, myself included.
We spend so much time trying to figure ourselves out that we forget to experience ourselves.
We analyze.
We overthink.
We research.
We wait until we’re sure.
We try to determine whether we’ll be good at something before we even begin.
And all the while, life is sitting there waiting for us to participate.
One of the biggest surprises of my own reinvention journey has been realizing that I didn’t reconnect with myself through thinking.
I reconnected with myself through trying.
Trying things I wasn’t good at.
Trying things that made no logical sense.
Trying things that had no clear outcome.
Trying things simply because something about them pulled at me.
Art is a perfect example.
There was a time when I would have dismissed it.
I’m not trained.
I’m not naturally talented.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
All perfectly reasonable arguments.
And yet something kept drawing me toward it.
So eventually I stopped asking whether I would be good at it and started asking a different question.
Why not?
That small shift changed everything.
Not because I suddenly became an artist.
Because I learned something about myself.
The same thing happened with writing.
With personal growth.
With changing my style.
With exploring new ideas.
With imagining different possibilities for my future.
Every time I followed a thread of curiosity, I learned something.
Not just about the activity.
About me.
And I think that’s where many women get stuck.
They’re waiting to know who they are before they start.
But in my experience, that’s backwards.
You discover who you are by paying attention to what pulls you.
You discover who you are by experimenting.
You discover who you are by gathering evidence.
You discover who you are by trying things.
Maybe you take a pottery class and hate it.
Wonderful.
Now you know.
Maybe you start a garden and realize you love it.
Now you know.
Maybe you try painting.
Maybe you join a hiking group.
Maybe you take a dance class.
Maybe you lift the heavy weights.
Maybe you sign up for something that scares you a little.
Maybe you buy the flowers.
Maybe you don’t become good at any of it.
That’s not the point…
The point is that every experience teaches you something about yourself.
And for women who have spent years focused on everyone else’s preferences, needs, schedules, happiness, and expectations, that information is priceless.
Because sometimes disconnection doesn’t happen through one major event.
Sometimes it happens through thousands of small moments of saying:
Whatever you want.
I don’t care.
You choose.
Until one day someone asks what you want, and you honestly don’t know.
The way back isn’t through more analysis.
It’s through curiosity.
It’s through experimentation.
It’s through giving yourself permission to discover what lights you up, what interests you, what bores you, what energizes you, and what feels like home.
I’ve reinvented myself enough times to know this:
The people who reconnect with themselves aren’t necessarily the bravest.
They’re often just the most curious.
So the next time something catches your attention, sparks your interest, or quietly calls your name, maybe don’t ask whether you’ll be good at it.
Maybe ask the question that has stayed with me all these years:
Why not?
~Christeen
